Via – A Step Ahead Adoption Services
Friends and family – here are some tips to help you help us during our pre-adoption phase:
~ DO accept our decision to adopt without question.
~ DO accept our choice of child regardless of his/her race, heritage, age, social background, etc.
~ DO remain positive and enthusiastic during waiting periods.
~ DO offer to give practical help if you don’t mind giving us your time.
~ DO respect our choice not to disclose details about our personal life and our decisions.
~ DON’T tell us that if we adopt a child, we will get pregnant and have a child of “our own.” Adoption does not cure infertility, and our adopted child will be our own child!
~ DON’T react as if adoption is a “second best” or “noble” choice.
~ DON’T question our capability or readiness to parent a child.
~DON’T incessantly ask for news while we are waiting to adopt – you can be sure that we will tell everyone when there is news to share.
~ DON’T probe about the details of our child or birthparents—we will tell you what we are comfortable sharing.
Here are some tips to help you help us during our post-adoption phase:
~ DO be happy for our new child and us.
~ DO respect that we need quiet time with our new child to bond and adjust.
~ DO understand that we might not be able to fulfill your needs as quickly as we did before we became parents.
~ DO respect our style of child rearing.
~ DON’T feel sorry for our adopted child.
~ DON’T make demands for our attention or our time during our adjustment phase.
~ DON’T criticize our desire to have and maintain a relationship with our child’s birth family.